They just don’t like me

Like meeeee!!!!

I was chatting with an actress friend in LA recently and she was telling me that no matter what she did, how many postcards she sent, how much begging she did with her agent, she just couldn’t bust through the door of a CD she really wanted to get in front of.  The reason she wanted to get in front of them was they cast one of her favourite shows and it’s a show she feels she’d be a perfect fit for. Why won’t this CD have her in? “It must be because they just don’t like me.”

I took a workshop in Toronto last summer with 2 well-known CDs in the city. I was excited to get in front of them, when I looked them up on IMDB I saw they had cast many things I thought I’d be a great fit for. They critiqued our headshots and didn’t have much to say about mine. They didn’t love it, they didn’t hate it. Then we got sides and had a few minutes to prepare before coming back in to read for them in front of the group. I thought I did ok. One didn’t love it but she didn’t hate it. The other one I could tell “just didn’t like me.”

Another friend took a class with a well respected acting coach in LA and was progressing quite well, or so he thought. He had been taking this class for 6 months and in that time, he saw the coach refer actors to agents and managers or even get them in front of CDs if he heard of an audition he thought they’d be right for. But never him. He asked one day after class if his teacher could recommend a good agent for him and his teacher said he didn’t know anyone right now. My friend was bummed and dropped the class. What was the point of staying with a coach “who just doesn’t like him.”

Everyday, as actors, we wake up hoping we get to do our jobs. We want to act. Sometimes we can afford to take that class, some months we struggle to pay the bills, some days are full of fabulous auditions and some weeks go by where we wonder if we are doing the right thing. Then that call comes in and we get to wake up and head to an exciting film or television set and do our thing and everything seems right in the world again. All we can do is be as prepared as we can be.  But to get hung up on “they just don’t like me” is a real waste of our time and energy and does nothing to progress our careers.

Oh and a quick update on my 3 examples…my LA actress friend who thought the CDs to her favourite show just didn’t like her? She finally got called in for a pilot they are working on.  They no longer cast her favourite show.  It went to a new CD and so my friend is reaching ut to him. It had nothing to do with them not liking her and everything to do with they wanted to keep her in mind for their future project.

My other friend who dropped his class because he thought his acting coach didn’t like him and that’s why he wasn’t being referred to anyone? Well, the old acting coach called him and my friend said he felt bummed about not being referred when he saw him refer other students. The teacher explained that yes, a friend of his was a youth agent so when he saw a promising student under 18, he’d pass along their info. My friend is 28, no longer a youth.

As for me and my Toronto CD team who just don’t like me? Who knows. I’ve never seen them again. I still see breakdowns from their office but as of yet, haven’t seen a thing I’d be right for.  The moral of the story? You can’t control who likes you and who doesn’t. And in the end, most of the time, you are dead wrong.