Selling stuff on Craigslist has made me hate mankind

It seems easy. You click “post”, you list your stuff in the right category, you drop in some pictures and you wait for people to contact you. The thing is you have no control over WHO contacts you. There is no option for “sane people only” on Craigslist.

Case #1: The Need it NOW
This person seems to troll CL in search of that perfect item they need right now…they just don’t actually WANT it. So they fire off an email that goes something like: “Hey, saw your ad for the X, is it still available and when can I come pick it up?” You think “awesome, that was fast.” Ya…not so much. When you email back that yes it is available and you can make arrangements for a time convenient for them, you don’t hear back. At all. Ever. You think you’re losing your mind but then they send you a similar email on another item you’ve posted and it all makes sense. They live in their mother’s basement.

Case#2: The Bargain Hunter
This idiot clearly can’t read and fails to notice the whole point of having 2 sections on CL – the Free section and the Selling section. Or maybe they are the ultimate champion of bargaining. Or they are just morons. I’m going to go with the latter. I have a bookcase I’m selling for $30. These folks like to email you and not ask, but state “I will give you $5” to which I reply “Add $25 and it’s yours.” They usually stop emailing me after that. The other approach is a new one. I forgot I threw up a ton of books up there.  I got an email recently asking about a set I have. I’m selling 5 books in a series for $25. If you do the math, that’s $5 a book. Considering they retail for $18-25 each I’d say that’s a pretty good deal. I got an email asking if I’d drop the price to $20 because she’s buying them for her special needs class and they just really love this series. OK I’m not an asshole, but a few things bothered me about this. Number 1 was the guilt ask. Number 2 was the guilt ask and number 3 was the ‘$20″ ask. Really? $5 more is too much for you? OK I’m an asshole.

Case#3: The No Shows
I can’t believe I for got to write about this category!! The ones that make all the arrangements via email, then call, then call again to ensure they are taking the correct route, then….disappear! Into a CL abyss never to be seen or heard from again. I’ve had quite a few of these. I even had a guy yesterday call to ask if I’d like him to email transfer the payment prior to him coming down and I said no no no…just bring cash. Ya….so he’s in the CL abyss right now laughing his ass off. I just don’t get the joke. I also just don’t get the thrill of whatever “this” is. So you call and get people to believe you are coming to buy something then don’t show up. Then what? Do you brag to your Star Wars collection how awesome you are? Because you clearly have no real life friends.

Case #4: The WEIRDOS
These ones are plentiful. There are too many examples to post but a couple of my favourites…The guy that emailed me to ask if I could send more pics of my glass top coffee table. I wasn’t sure what he wanted. maybe in a grass field? Perhaps with some scantily clad model atop it? Dude, it’s glass. It has a base. Not sure what more you want. So I did what anyone would do in my situation. I had fun with it…at his expense of course. I took a series of “stuff on coffee table” pics. Pic 1: mug on glass coffee table. Pic 2: book on glass coffee table. Pic 3: pile of magazines on glass coffee table and just to throw him off, Pic 4: blanket covering glass coffee table. Surprisingly I did not hear back from him. Rats… I had more to add to this series.

Another lady emailed me to ask for all the information that was in the ad. “So what size is it?” “Is it black or brown?” “How many drawers does it have?” “How much do you want for it?” The first email I didn’t want to be a dick because I figured people look at a few ads so I get it…you can’t remember what ad you are replying to…except it tells you when you hit reply! It says right there with a link “You are replying to THIS (link) ad”!!! Sigh. So after replying nicely to her first email I started just replying with a link to my ad. Again, I didn’t hear back.

I’m sure there will be more to add…my stuff is still up there. I tried Kijiji too…it’s not much better over there. I have sold some stuff. There are human beings who do actually need and want and have the money to buy stuff without hassle. I’m thinking of having an actual “in my apartment” sale…I’m sure that will inspire another blog post.